No matter what I do, I just don't seem to be a perfect human being.
I plod along in life and watch every one else arse their way through and when I genuinely try my hardest, I seem to fuck things up even more.
I'm so mentally distracted that i forget such simple things!!! The other day, for the life of me I could not remember the alarm code at work- which i use almost every day!! Poof! Gone!!!
Just proves how distracted my mind is of late.
My energy levels have dipped, I don't really care much any more. I actually feel depressed most days, although I tend to hide behind a happy-go-lucky demeanor.
Some days I just don't want to exist.
I'm happy to admit a fault of mine, I own up to things I do wrong- but making a big issue out of such things as "not putting blah-blah-blah on charge" are not really what I need right now. I get it, i forgot... but there are other more important things that I DID actually do.... but that's ok, whinge about a fucking device you don't need first thing not being charged. Seriously... fuck off.
I tend to give people a blank expression now. I hate crying and getting upset- I'm fucking over it. I'm also fucking over being used and abused!! I'm nice because I actually enjoy helping people out, but if you are going to run me down and make me feel like shit- FORGET ABOUT IT!!
Stop treating me like shit!
Stop treating people like shit, full stop. Just stop.
We are human, we fuck up, mess up, forget, make small mistakes and so on... live and let live- did that small error kill you? No? GET OVER IT!! MOVE ON!!!
I think I need a change.
What I want in life just seems to be eluding me, although I don't talk about it here- By the end of this year, I give up. I just simply give up.
I'm over it. I'm over everything!
I write things in the condensation as i have a shower... I find myself writing "Why?" and "When?" a lot.... wonder if it will ever happen for me....
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