Some times you just feel worthless

This is purely venting- You have been warned.

Yes... some times life can just make you feel like a glitter covered piece of shit!

I mean, feeling worthless is pretty much a talent of mine. I seem to just be useless in no matter what field of anything I'm doing or involved in.

Some times I just feel so useless i want to cry. It's rather over-whelming.
Having multiple peronalities (im a Gemini), I usually project the personality that I want people to see.... example, the happy, dopey, lucky-go-easy and nerdy girl. Hidden under that and so much more is a person screaming to just be accepted for who she is and not being treated as shit because she's just a human.

Yup... believe it or not, I'm human!!!

The way I get treated by some people though makes me feel like an indicator in a Perth drivers car. O_O Oh yeah...

I am now closing myself up, as my approach is normally to lay it all on the table- but that allows people to hurt me in a way i never knew was truly possible.
Some things in my life have really hurt me in the past... and now I find myself being hurt again, but just by new people.

I think I just need to own up to the fact that I am useless and a dumb shit for brains.... but I do have my uses. *sigh* Well that's my defeated thought process... how ever the other side of my personality is saying "Nah!! FUCK THAT!! FUCK THEM!!! AND FUCK YOU!!" hahaha... I'm rather conflicted in myself a.t.m.

Currently I'm struggling with a highly personal issue... by the end of this year, if it hasn't resolved itself... I just give the fuck up. Over it. Don't care any more. This time last year I would have been a different emotional wreck, but you build up an emotional shell after a while..... hence i say fuck a lot. That is me hardening my emotional shell to deal with shit that really- no one ever should deal with.

Life is fucked.

Thank god I have my amazing husband to ground me.. or this life might not be worth living.

I'm done.